Jumbled

 

I've gotten asked alot why I started my Blog...and at first, I didn't think my real answer would make any sense to anyone, so I just gave a few different ones. But in reality, I started my Blog simply as an escape...

Honestly...the day that I started my blog, I was mad at my boyfriend, frustrated with how my training was going, and just looking for an escape. So, I started my Blog, and talked about none of that!! LOL! Starting my Blog has been an outlet, but if I'm being real, it has been a struggle, because I struggle with escaping. I struggle with putting myself out there and letting people in to see sides of me that I don't ever share. 

I am really really REALLY good at smiling away most things, and just holding it all in. But I started this Blog to challenge myself and allow myself to be vulnerable and open up some, to let others who struggle with the same things see that we can do it.

 I realized day one that I am not some self-help guru that will say all the right things and help people to overcome obstacles or challenges that they have in their lives. However, I realize that sometimes people's outlets are just reading/hearing about the things that others struggle with...so here I am, slowly, putting myself out there to be an outlet for someone else. Even if that's only 1 person.

So let's go there...today, I am struggling with the fact that my mind is going 56543246765231467 miles per hour, but my reality is barely moving. I have so many...well, of all the things...and nothing is going the way that any of those thoughts think that they should. Like nothing. Not even this Blog post. I have deleted and rewritten almost every thought at least 1 time...and I had this entire Blog post thought out and ready to go last night. 😑 

It isn't that I don't have any direction, or determination, or drive...I guess I'm just second guessing myself, which is why none of my thoughts are turning into reality. And why this probably doesn't make much sense...

Vulnerability is SCARY...but I'm learning that it also requires so much strength. It's brave! So here I am, placing my vulnerability on the line, and allowing small parts of me to open up. It's going to be a struggle, but a necessary one. It's going to be a challenge, but the reward will be greater. 

I started this Blog because I needed to. 

I started this Blog because I had to.

I started this Blog because I struggle.

And I'm happy that I did. 

Do you struggle with being vulnerable?? 

Lot's of Love!

Rebekah💜